People are not always like who we remember; people change over time medically and cannot physically remain the same as our memories.
Understanding that difficult truth (alone) really is a psychology fact that can up your life quality by remaining self focused rather than on obsessing why a person you know and or love is or is not still prone to acting a certain way.
Tink of a crush you had in high school who you saw ten or twenty years later and figure out why you two were not meant to be. Hold thatvsame neurochemical inspired emotion on place when confronted with grasping someone you counted on in your mind and heart to be, feel, or still be physically able to do something with or for you if they are no longer your thing.
Unless you see someone in person on the regular, our cells break down and replace the entire body with new ones by or before the seven year mark. That means every “Seven Year Itch” is actually newccell structures seeking out what will be beneficial next while letting go of whatever a body thought or felt it need sociallt and physically to remain happy in the past.
One cannot count on other people to remain the same person to themselves or others over time. One must allow growth in any direction. If they are terrible people to begin with expect them to get better at being awful whole those who are not tend to create lifestyles for tgemselves that are likely more comfortable.
Further, release tge expectation of knowing anyone closely or intimately for a lifetime. Not only are we not privy to knowing anyone else’s internal state, if we are not present to interact and to witness their life and genetic exposures, the only thing we can no of them is our expectation of them — not the actual person. Focus on remembering moments of connection without placing too much focus on need for anything more linear.
To know someone means to gave sensory impression of who and what a person is when we interact with them. Sometimes relationships allow knowing of another person to happen on a deeply rewarding and satisfying, mutually beneficial level. Other times, one or both parties is not up to the task.
Whether or not it is a parent, child, sibling, former classmate, past love interest, old coworker, or previous friend if you haven’t spent considerable time with them the past decade, you are an entirely different biological organism nowadays and so are they.
Disappointment happens when someone you expect to remain close to you socially and emotionally moves too far away to continue to remain close to them physically and socially enmeshed in the know.
Heartbeak occurs finding out some people change. If they don’t change for the better over time in general, one may feel a bit surprised but if they change for the worse (in personality — not age related natural variations of age appropriate bio housing decline), figuring out someone you once esteemed or trusted cannot be that person to know in your mind and heart anymore can cause the person losing a friend or person thought to be part of their intimate social network of support can cause deep emotional distress and grief over the in question person’s downturn.
Some people remain much like they were in their childhood, only better and improving their internal state of comfort over time. These are the people lacking Cluster B dysfunctions.
Around the age of 28 and typically by or before the age of 30 tge human brain reaches maturity. At that time, neuroplasticity begins to freeze in people with Cluster B personality types, in folks who are likely to develop senior personality difficulties like Dementia, and bodies stop easily tolerating unhealthy or excessive amounts of food and exposure to toxins like Gluten, Recreational Heavy Drug Use, and to things like Alcohol.
If you have good DNA not prone to developing Senior Dysfunction (“Senioritis”), starting to look after less fortunate folks in Family or Friends Circles as they decline and or to detach from them as necessary based on their type of dysfunctional behavior is likely to become necessary.
Toxic Parents tend to be happier and safer in the care of an Assisted Living Facility tgat transitions them automatically to full time nursing care when appropriate. Children of such parents suffer terribly around them, leading the Abuser and historic Abuse Victim lesser for the experience of routine immersive entanglement.
Parents of Adult Children who are abusive or prone to neglecting others are at risk of being abused terribly during their senior years. Finding Senior Care accomodations for yourself including aporopriate roommates or a place for yourself and a nursing companion that no one can take away from you and that you can afford to pay for and to take care of physically by yourself that’s ideally located in a 55+ years old and up community with easy driving, publuc transportation, shopping for retail and grocery, ease of banking, and access to a nearby hospital system with a Living Will or Trust in place that ensures you are cared for in final years as you wish can save a ton of heartache and reduce stress.
Family Heads left in charge of heirlooms are often beloved and respected in healthy family types, but they are only one stroke or piece of misinformation away from tearing a family apart by triangulating children and grandchildren over inheritance issues and things. Do not depend on them to have your best interests at heart if you expect them to leave you money or to gift you any stuff. And, if they were holding anything of yours for you… get it out long before there’s even chance for a dust up. Many a family with a greedy sibling left in an Executor of the Will position or given access to property is likely to ensure your property or sentimental items are sold or simply permanently vanished.
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