Are you thinking about ending a relationship with Collapsed Psychopaths? If you find yourself in the position of being mobbed by a gaggle of Collapsed Psychopaths in a family or with a Collapsed Psychopath and their Narcissistic Harem of willing and active Abuse Enablers, here’s a few tips and things to consider about how to decrease chances of you being further harmed by the relationship.
- If you have been studying them for a while and resisted leaping to a presumption of Psychopathy rather than run of the mill Narcissism, Borderline Personality Disorder, or Nurtured Sociopathy, know they sized you up as a mark to abuse and mistreat from the first time they set eyes on you or heard you were about to be born.
- Psychopaths are the only diagnosed personality type that takes great pleasure from causing other people pain; a Narcissist or Sociopath will hurt you to get what they want or to shut you up about their behavior choices or mistakes, but a Psychopath is the only type who will gaslight to harm you with the intent of visibly causing you physical upset and pain.
- Some Psychopaths are prone to doing physical harm to others to pleasure themselves; over ones will hit you but covert ones will lie to and about you and will pretend while doing so to actually love and like you.
If you find yourself fifty years plus in age and watching friends and family escalate in psychopathic behaviors, realize it may be time to make your move to end contact with Abusers and to end your willingness to socially engage with them further. Grieving the loss of the experience of having a family and friends who know them is step one to escaping the social and emotional danger of trying to make a relationship with them that allows both parties inclusion in a social dynamic that provides you and them equal comfort.
If your mother or father was cruel and dismissive or your feelings when you were a child, don’t let them around you or your children anymore than is physically necessary. That doesn’t mean be an arsehole — it means do something like move far away and be busy.
If your sibling was cruel and or abusive and still thinks behavior that harmed you in childhood or in your adult years is funny, end the social and emotional enmeshment. They will escalate in abuse of your time and hospitality inevitably medically as they age as you will be perceived as a target.
In the family if your role is Scapegoat, expect a clatch of folks who like Psychopaths and enjoy watching and or helping them abuse and ostracize their marks to always put you for their amusement in social as well as physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, and financial harms way.
Kissing the ass of a Psycho raging irrationally at or about someone is when those types of individuals truly shine at showing their beta nature as Social Predators. Understand most enablers of extreme Abusers admire the Psychopaths ability to humiliate and do harm to other people. If you know anyone like this — someone who shows extreme kindness to anyone abusing the time and hospitality of another while neglecting to try to stop them or to protect the mark, they — not necessarily the predator — are actually running game on the Psychopath and on the Abused or ostracized party (or parties).
Collapsed Psychopaths often look like Enablers. They are the ones telling you if a more Alpha predator has lied to or about you, sexually assaulted , or physically abused you that you must be at fault for it having happened. They preach it takes two to Tango — claiming victims of abuse and gross neglect of social compassion or inclusion in Family Support Networks are responsible for being lied to or about and told that whoever did them harm isn’t.
A collapsed version of a Psychopath will do things like defend villains. They will suck up to whomever is the dirtiest actor and pretend that person — rather than someone kind or honest — is the only one welcome in their life or at their proverbial dinner table. The type cares only about feeling in control of your social image and of your emotions… most only feeling good about themselves if they are actively aiding in abuse or social neglect of a target they envy.
Envy is the secret every Covert Social Predator is driven by, noting a Psychopath will envy anyone who shines more than them socially or who is not crippled by debilitating compromised morality. Drunks are often in the group, noting when they drink and verbally attack or are sober and deceptively critical of you that what you are seeing is Collapsing Psychopath in motion.
Psychopaths tend to collapse if proven wrong or they feel socially embarrassed. If you prove your case, for instance, in a court of law or in a social spectrum and they rage instead of congratulating you and appreciating something like revealing truth them you know they were treating you as a mark to con and abuse.
Leaving a Psychopath or a family unit with one or more of the nurtured Anti-Social Bad Actors in itust be done carefully and without fuss. Otherwise you risk losing all of your friends they know, family connections that actually mattered to you, and more than likely you will lose time, reputation, money, and your health.
The stress of dealing with mean people is nothing compared to the harm caused by watching people who willfully enable predation pretend to be clueless victims oblivious to the harm they enable. The time and money lost trying to jump through hoops to please them combined with tears and anxiety is the giveaway any therapist or other recovered or recovering abuse victims spots that lets them know there is or is not reciprocity in abuse dynamic involved.
No victim of a crime — a robbery, a rape, a mugging, a violent crime Etcetera — is told by judge and jury that if they complain or don’t hide the mistreatment that they must apologize and invite the criminal who abused their time and or hospitality to dinner. They are not mocked for being overly emotional.
The Abuser who stomps around shuffling his feet, throwing wrenches at physical objects at people who they are angry at (literal and or metaphoric) is never the true Alpha. The person who feeds them and supports their behavior choices is that person’s actual controller and handler. The group must therefore be considered a whole to escape minus the fanfare.
Get your things together you can collect and move them away to somewhere property can be kept safe.
Move yourself out of proximity so the problem people are not easily able to cruise by places like your home or work making problems for you. If you work online you are kind of screwed… but, giving up a career under threat of extortion by Collapsed Psychopaths hunting you and your contacts with the intent to harm you is worth the peace of not giving them anymore targets to poke at when they seek neurochemicals from Dupers Delight or Sadism.
Collapsed Psychopaths cannot be reasoned with; any approach to meet them with compassion and logic will be ridiculed, insulted, and seen by them as you attacking.
Let them go.
Let them do and say and think what they want without you continuing to care enough about them and their feelings to try to correct them. If they say you are a bad person or crazy or stupid or whatever their claim that they say upsets them, if it’s not true understand they already know it.
Trying to convince a Collapsed Psychopath that the emotions they feel that are harming them — believing the worst in you or anything not true — is the neurochemical prompt they medically crave (especially as the Cluster B person ages). They know you are not whatever ridiculous insult they claim. They know you know they are lying and that others are truly gaslit to believe them or go along with the lie for them (as in the case of many families with nurtured psychopathy arising especially in children of parents with problems related to the use of drugs and or alcohol).
The less you entangle and enmesh with Psychopaths, the less likely you are for one to collapse and target you. Secure your bank. Get things out of security deposit boxes. Secure your email. Never let one of them near your computers. Move. Secure your identity and your identity documents. Get as many photos and sentimental objects scurried away from them as you can.
Expect the worst imaginable treachery over time be acts committed by them against you and others if Psychopathy is involved with a problem person or problem family unit dynamic. Involving yourself in their day to day only keeps you as the primary abuse target in range.
See also: flyingmonkeysdenied.com.
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery 101…
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